Why Certain People Have So Much Influence Over Your Emotions

We are going to do a lot of fun, interactive stuff today. If you have never been to our free live Q&As, everyone who shows up weekly can attest that they are so much fun and very interactive.

I don't just throw information at you. I want to integrate. I want to check in on your energy. You will leave these free live events with all your questions answered. We are going to do some energy work today, which I am super excited about. We are going to integrate everything we teach you today, and then we also have a free Q&A later this week where you can let this information marinate in your brain, your heart, your soul.

We are going to let it marinate, and then you can hop on the live Q&A with any additional questions, or if you want me to check into something within your energy field. You can use the chat, unmute yourself, raise your hand. This isn't super formal. That is how we roll here.

Today we are going to talk about feeling like one person can be responsible for your emotional state.

What we are going to cover is something we have not fully explored before. A lot of you who have been with Whole Family Health for a long time know that it can be a reflective state when we feel controlled by somebody's emotion, but there are also a lot of other things energetically going on behind the scenes that we have never discussed before.

Let me give you some examples. When I was younger, I had a really reactive dad. He would get really angry, he would throw things, he would never hurt us, he was a big teddy bear, but I learned to feel him out. I learned to walk on eggshells, learned not to tick him off, learned by a look in his eye that things were not okay and were going to pop off at any second. I made sure my brothers and sisters were behaving and quiet. I would say that my dad controlled my emotional state when I lived with him, and even after I moved out. I could talk to him on the phone, hear something in his voice, and be riddled with anxiety because he was anxious.

I feel like all of us have at least one experience with a primary caregiver that we learned to navigate from a very early age. It is not a criticism of our parents. We simply had not learned how emotions affect our world until the early 2000s. That is barely any time at all for people to really understand emotional vocabulary, how they are feeling, and being attuned to others.

Early in my marriage, my husband Tyler, who you hear me talk about all the time, dealt with depression, anxiety, and a dysregulated nervous system. When we were first married, he did not yet have the skill sets he has now. He has worked really hard to learn how to regulate himself. But back then, if he came home from work or school having a bad day, my nervous system was completely enmeshed with his. If he was anxious, I went into overcompensation mode. What can I do to help you? Are you okay? What happened? Do you want to talk about it? I was completely mirroring his behaviour, his problems, his issues, and it would dictate my mood.

When we have these states of mirroring people, yes, it can be a reflection. You are holding an emotional imbalance. Let's say you are being hypercritical of yourself, going over everything you should have done differently. Your partner is going to come home and feed you that energy right back. They are going to be hypercritical of you, because you are hypercritical of yourself.

It is always going to be reflective-based. You are never going to be triggered by someone without there being a reflection. You get a text and your mood changes. You get a phone call and your mood changes. Someone walks into the room and your mood changes. That feeling of having no control over it will always point back to a reflective state.

Now, one thing a lot of people are not thinking about, and something that has been showing up a lot in our practice, is that when we have strong emotional connections with people, whether that is children, parents, lovers, or close friends, we can actually give them energetic pieces of our soul. They can obtain different pieces of our soul, and it creates a very strong bond.

A great example of this is my son. When he was younger, he would take on Tyler's anxiety, carrying pieces of Tyler's soul lesson as his own, until we were able to work through that energetically and bring everything back to its rightful owner.

How would you know if you had exchanged soul pieces? If you have done the energy work, you have addressed the reflective state, you have done the course correcting, you have tried to approach the situation with emotional mastery, and that person still has a hold over you, that is a sign there may be soul pieces involved and that additional energy work is needed.

Another layer is your aura and your energetic shields. We all have auras, which are energy fields made up of seven layers around our bodies. Your aura is supposed to sit roughly two feet from your body. People who are highly sensitive or empathic often have auras that extend far beyond that. You can end up engulfing entire buildings, taking on the energy of everyone around you, simply because your aura is so wide open.

My son experienced this at school. His aura was engulfing the entire building. He could feel when a student across the room was not okay, or pick up something in his teacher's tone, and suddenly he was not okay either. We worked on helping him pull his aura back in, close and snug to his body, so he could clear out everyone else's energy and come back to himself.

If your aura is really extended, you can take on your neighbour's energy, or walk into a busy public space and absorb everything around you. Setting the intention to pull your aura in close, and keeping it there, is a simple and powerful practice.

Your energetic shield sits around your aura as a layer of protection. Strong emotions and dysregulation can pull your shields down, which is why doing this work from a regulated state matters so much.

Another way people's energy enters our field is through contagions. This includes social media, TV, films, and any content you are consuming in a passive, subconscious state. When you are scrolling or zoning out, there are gaps and holes in your energy field that make it easy for other people's programming, thoughts, opinions, and emotional states to come in. The more imbalanced you are when you pick up your phone, the more you are going to absorb.

If you notice a fixation with a particular account or person online, finding yourself constantly checking on them or feeling drawn to them in a way that feels compulsive, that is a good indicator of a contagion at work.

There is also something worth being aware of around sexual energy. When you are intimate with someone and exchanging fluids, you are literally taking their information into your body. That energetic imprint can stay with you for up to six weeks. This is not about judgment or fear. It is simply about awareness. Being mindful of who you share that kind of intimacy with, and knowing that energy work can help clear what no longer belongs to you, is part of maintaining your wholeness.

So to bring it all together, it will always start with a reflective state. That is the foundation. But there are additional layers that can make it harder to come back into balance, including soul piece exchanges, energetic cording, an over-extended aura, dropped shields, and contagions. These are the extra strings that weigh the anchor down and make it harder to return to yourself.

When you notice that someone has a hold on you, get curious. Ask yourself whether you have addressed the reflective piece. Then consider whether there might be something more going on. Are there other strings attached? Is my aura extended? Did I exchange soul pieces with this person? Going through those layers helps you identify what kind of work is needed to come back to wholeness.

The goal is always to return to that full, complete, sovereign version of yourself. Not because other people are bad or wrong, but because you cannot access your emotional balance, your intuition, or your soul purpose when you are outsourcing your energy to someone else.

When you are in fight or flight, you cannot access your logical brain. You cannot decode reflections. You cannot intuit. Everything goes offline until you return to calm. So being that stable, regulated force, for yourself first and then for the people around you, is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

A balanced approach is not detachment. It is trust. It is knowing that the people in your life are learning exactly what they need to learn, that their higher self knows what it is doing, and that it is not yours to fix or carry. That shift, from scarcity and overcompensation to trust and steadiness, is where real freedom lives.